Why don't you write something nice for a change? Asked friend of mine.
It was a supplementary question to him main query about why all of my friends seemed to be ignoring me of late.
"I don't do nice, I do real things." was my reply, and it prompted a whack to the head with a dairy depressingly devoid of commitments.
"Ok, ok, I'll write something nice." I promised, rubbing my wounded brow with crossed fingers.
So, I will tell you the truth eh.....! The truth hurts. Drop a marble block on your big toe. Feel that, sunshine?
That's the truth hitting you. That'll teach you for not taking my word for it. Go on, soak it in cold water to bring the swelling down. Put some cream on the sucker, too, if you think it'll help, because that's what the truth is, my friends - a great, big, purple throbbing thing at the end of your foot!
Painful though the truth may be, it should never keep you from telling people stuff they absolutely need to know.
Like the guy with the wild hair growing out of his nostrill, or the nervous job applicant with the spring of parsley stuck to his chin. (note: to you guys: always carry a hand mirror, even if it is abit girlie) or the man on the train with the red-back crawling up the ladder of his sock.
Actually, it's ok if the last one's not strictly true, because you could get a fabulous reaction from the man if you're planning to do this - sorry to digress in the middle of such an important topic - please record it with a DV camera or videophone so we can all join in.
And whatever you do, please make sure, you get the man in question to sign a realease before sending it in to us here at the station or post it on the internet, either way. The truth is often an unpleasant thing and can be as difficult to digest as a teriyaki chicken handrolls with too much wasabi paste on it.
And please do not try this yourself just to see, otherwise you'll notice a white substance dripping out the corner of your mouth and realize it's the enamed coating from your teeth (This cannot be replaced inexpensively).
There are times, of course when the truth simply doesn't matter - like what my friend Daniel always says to me.
But of course, there is truth and then there is truth. Here we draw the crucial distinction between permanent, absolute, universal truth and transient, ethereal, not-around-for-very- long truth.
In the former category we consider things that will always be true, no matter what occors. The impessibility of getting a straight answer from a local council, for instance. Or that the day you tell lie to your boyfriend, or even when you didn't tell the truth about your sex life to your friends because you just want your friends thought that you're a Mother Terresa and very innocence person.
Yet, given all the concept of truth we must deal with, there are times in my life when we should not tell the truth, yes... that's right, you heard it here first, my fellow friends, sometimes it's ok to lie, (only white lie is ok, as my father told me when I was a kid....).
Say, for instance, Lex Luthor comes knocking on your door looking for supermen. You're not going to let on that he's hiding in your kitchen, are you? Of course not, because supermen is the good guy who's looking out for your interests, and Lex Luthor is the one who want to enslave humanity and make it listern to house music.
So you lie and say, "Oh, you want superman, No, that's no. 14 across the road down near the corner."
Then as Luthor is walking away, you get superman to use his laser vision to zap him in the arse. And, as my friend always complains to me (look at this story, am I wrong or right by given him my straight answer? You tell me!).
Jared, 53-year-old man, and he seem incapable of sustaining long-term relationships. Several good looking mans were left wondering why he rejected them. He've been with a great guy now for 5 weeks and he can feel it happening again. None of them seem to be the "ONE". Is this a case of "It's my fault, not yours." syndrome? Jared's asking me, over dinner last week. My answer is easy. I told him: If you can see that the guy you're dated were good and your current partner is 'great' and you still can't sustain it. It must be you, if you care about your partner, tell him it's best if he leaves, then get yourself into counseling for a "commitment" problem, saying, "he's not the one" is just another way of saying "I can't do this...."
But why he upset with my comment when I told him that he need a "counseling" to help him go through this stuff/problem he had? For fuck sake he is 53-year-old, grow up!
This proves that when George Washington said: "Honesty is the best policy." What the poor cap meant was that "total honesty is a disadtrous policy." But of course, back then he didn't have Lex Luthor to deal with. Plus he was probably on crack.
In any consideration of the nature of truth, we should above all, remember that truth is a relative concept - meaning that the most awful truths you face in life will always come courtesy of your relatives.
This is why contact with them should always be absolute minimum, even if that means participatings in family get-together via text.
Or even if you tell me : "George, you're such a wanker (of course I am a wanker, cos' I wanking every morning)." Perhaps if you don't like me, just tell the truth, but don't pretend that I am is your friend or just to petty me, I didn't do petty to please someone......
That is an awful lie....... So, want to feel the sting of honesty? eat wasabi then.....
Till then, forgive me father for not being kind to my dear friends.... Happy sunday.....
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