I am not a big fan of Sci-fiction but Superman is an interesting character, the strongest, toughest guy on the planet…. Except for the Kryptonite of course.
In any relationship, no matter how strong things seem, at random times we find ourselves wondering whether – as with Clark Kent and Lois Lane – we’re run into our own version of Lex Luther.
Most guys can accept that they will never drive like Jansen Botton, that they will never be rich like Bill Gates, that they are good looking like Ananda Everingham and that they will never be as smart as Stephen Hawking.
And yet against all of this, most guys still believe that Miss Universe would be interested in them if they were to meet, that they could talk their way to becoming the next prime minister (well okey, only a few crave this) if possibly get a call from Alex Ferguson to take a run an old Trafford next season.
And that’s what drives this fear of commitment for us men – the risk that any decision today might stop our rise to stardom, wealth, fame or dating a supermodel tomorrow.
Straight man's brains are wired completely different to ours. And the commitment issue is symptomatic of a deeper cause.
Many of the most attractive, smart women that I’ve met- not just in Australia, New Zealand, but throughout Asia, and England – are confident in their workplace and in the company of their friends, or at least have a façade of complete confidence in life.
But in reality, women’s seem so much more fragile when it comes to relationships. And the façade especially is most frail when they are alone. In getting to know them, woman feel that they aren’t good looking enough, aren’t attractive , aren’t smart enough, aren’t sure if they are too clingy or not clingy enough and wonder whether they are too jealous or sometimes wonder whether they should be.
The insecurities, incidentally, almost always seem to be an inverse relationship to reality in which they feel so insecure and lack so much confidence that it destroys the thousands of perfect parts that should be the reason why they should be confident. And the insecurity is what drives them to look so hard for a man who will commit and relieve that underlying fear that everything, while perfect today, will fail apart tomorrow.
Vulnerability and the slight feeling of insecurity for most men, is our Kryptonite. And for most women our fears of commitment are theirs.
So what is the art of a good relationship other than watching re-runs of the adventures of Lois and Clark? For us guys, I guess we need to stop waiting for Miss Universe, or in our case, we have to stop with Mr. Right Now.
And for the woman, they need to believe that we’ve stopped waiting….
And for me, I personally had given up of waiting……
Until then, catch you next week
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