It’s not about you. The ability to be charming might seem a confident and charismatic that to have and these are a part of it but by far the biggest component is the ability to make people feel good about themselves.
Look for the good in others. If you say woman have a bad rap for gossip but gay men can be just as bad.
There seems to be something inherently satisfying about putting someone else down. Satisfying maybe but charming will praise others instead of bad-mouthing them. If you are talking with someone or you are talking in a group of people, and up pops the subject of another person in a positive or negative way, be the one to mention something you like about that person.
Engage. Don’t be afraid of making eye contact when you first meet someone, give them a little smile (like mine) too, show some teeth. Go easy with this. Too much of a charming smile has the danger of turning into a psychopathic stare.
Learn how to take a complement. When someone praise you, chances are, they aren’t involved in a conspiracy to undermine you. Be effusive in accepting the complement. Go beyond a mere. ‘thank you’ and enjoin this with ‘I am glad you like it’ or ‘It is so kind of you to have noticed’ These are ’complement in return.’
Never laugh at your own jokes. A dry goes hand-in-hand with charm. Just don’t overdo it. The joke ought to stand alone. You don’t need to give it your own laugh track.
Yes, simply, it comes down to charm but charm isn’t something you can fake, it isn’t something – no matter how good that you pretend/acting on it- that you can pretend to be for any sustained length of time. Some people are genuinely charming, and no need to act on it. Because on the face of unreal or pretending we could spot the fake on it.
Engage. Don’t be afraid of making eye contact when you first meet someone, give them a little smile (like mine) too, show some teeth. Go easy with this. Too much of a charming smile has the danger of turning into a psychopathic stare.
Learn how to take a complement. When someone praise you, chances are, they aren’t involved in a conspiracy to undermine you. Be effusive in accepting the complement. Go beyond a mere. ‘thank you’ and enjoin this with ‘I am glad you like it’ or ‘It is so kind of you to have noticed’ These are ’complement in return.’
Never laugh at your own jokes. A dry goes hand-in-hand with charm. Just don’t overdo it. The joke ought to stand alone. You don’t need to give it your own laugh track.
Yes, simply, it comes down to charm but charm isn’t something you can fake, it isn’t something – no matter how good that you pretend/acting on it- that you can pretend to be for any sustained length of time. Some people are genuinely charming, and no need to act on it. Because on the face of unreal or pretending we could spot the fake on it.
Be genuine and be real.
I had trouble with my charm. It’s hard to figure it out at first, but then I just realized that I am naturally had this beauty smiling face plus the look of confident. We don’t have to be a good looking or rich, but the confident in yourself will bring you up there.
I was in the mist of moving myself back Kuala Lumpur. And for sure I am not looking for any love, nor do I looking for a ‘date.’
There is Nick, met him at the bar on Tuesday night when I am about to go after my happy hour with my groups. End-up I am staying for another round. Nick’s the most charming and funny guy I’ve had ever met. He’s tall, with light blue eyes and tan skin (it could be fake tan), had own real-estate company. Surprisingly for thirty five years old, as handsome as Nick, he had never been in the relationships before. He told me that he only realized that he were more attracted to men when he was in early thirties.
He told me that he had been in few one night stand but he hate it, because at the end of the day, he felt more alone and empty. After I finished my beer, he told me that where he lived, it was just round the corner from me.
To cut it short, we had a few ‘date’ and night chat at my place. After a month of ‘date’ and getting to know each other, he made a confession and told me that he is madly in love with me. The "L" word come out just after five week we met, he told me that I am the first guy he really fallen in love and he meant it by showering me with a gift.
And here is Jimmy, his face was in every issue of the Tattler magazine, and sometime on TV commercial. Very straight kind of look, when I said very straight, yes, he looked very straight, and hard to believe that he’s a gay.
As early thirties, he’d only been in short relationships with couple of guys during university times. Because after he finished his master degree, he was too busy to find a time for man or relationship. As part-time commercials model plus full-time work with financial company make thing more difficult to find the time for man.
Met Jimmy at my friend Steven’s fortieth birthday party. He told me that I was the charmed for the night, very confident and couldn’t stop smiling all night. He introduces himself to me and we had a chat round the corner quietly.
After four ‘date’ and one visit to cinema, he told me that he’s been fallen in love with me since the first night he saw me at Steven’s. Last Saturday morning when we went for shopping and lunch he made confession of how much he loved me.
Come along was Samuel, a freelance writer the age of me. Met him at the writer conference and festival on the Easter weekend, it was my article at the gay newspaper that attracted him to me. He keeps telling me that what I wrote is so real and fresh and that were the charm.
He wanted to get to know me and what make me react in certain way in my style of writing. It was unusual from someone like me to be a watcher and wrote from what I saw around and get these idea from watching peoples or just when am debating some issue with friends. It give him fascinate.
Hardly going out for dinner ‘date’ with me, but we spend a lot of times together on Sunday brunch. After two months of ‘going out’ he finally gives me a big surprised with the declaration of love to me.
It was my natural smiling face with my confident look that gave me a trouble. I have to be nice and at the same time I have to be meant to them. Telling them that I am not ready for any relationships because I am in the middle of leaving the city and move to another city. It was the hardest job to do, explaining to them even harder especially when you look at these sad eyes.
Why love come when you not even look at. It’s always the case.
But then, am ready to have a relationship and my charm in not working here in this city. The strange city that at my age, they said I am an old bag, and what happened with my charm?
I had trouble with my charm. It’s hard to figure it out at first, but then I just realized that I am naturally had this beauty smiling face plus the look of confident. We don’t have to be a good looking or rich, but the confident in yourself will bring you up there.
I was in the mist of moving myself back Kuala Lumpur. And for sure I am not looking for any love, nor do I looking for a ‘date.’
There is Nick, met him at the bar on Tuesday night when I am about to go after my happy hour with my groups. End-up I am staying for another round. Nick’s the most charming and funny guy I’ve had ever met. He’s tall, with light blue eyes and tan skin (it could be fake tan), had own real-estate company. Surprisingly for thirty five years old, as handsome as Nick, he had never been in the relationships before. He told me that he only realized that he were more attracted to men when he was in early thirties.
He told me that he had been in few one night stand but he hate it, because at the end of the day, he felt more alone and empty. After I finished my beer, he told me that where he lived, it was just round the corner from me.
To cut it short, we had a few ‘date’ and night chat at my place. After a month of ‘date’ and getting to know each other, he made a confession and told me that he is madly in love with me. The "L" word come out just after five week we met, he told me that I am the first guy he really fallen in love and he meant it by showering me with a gift.
And here is Jimmy, his face was in every issue of the Tattler magazine, and sometime on TV commercial. Very straight kind of look, when I said very straight, yes, he looked very straight, and hard to believe that he’s a gay.
As early thirties, he’d only been in short relationships with couple of guys during university times. Because after he finished his master degree, he was too busy to find a time for man or relationship. As part-time commercials model plus full-time work with financial company make thing more difficult to find the time for man.
Met Jimmy at my friend Steven’s fortieth birthday party. He told me that I was the charmed for the night, very confident and couldn’t stop smiling all night. He introduces himself to me and we had a chat round the corner quietly.
After four ‘date’ and one visit to cinema, he told me that he’s been fallen in love with me since the first night he saw me at Steven’s. Last Saturday morning when we went for shopping and lunch he made confession of how much he loved me.
Come along was Samuel, a freelance writer the age of me. Met him at the writer conference and festival on the Easter weekend, it was my article at the gay newspaper that attracted him to me. He keeps telling me that what I wrote is so real and fresh and that were the charm.
He wanted to get to know me and what make me react in certain way in my style of writing. It was unusual from someone like me to be a watcher and wrote from what I saw around and get these idea from watching peoples or just when am debating some issue with friends. It give him fascinate.
Hardly going out for dinner ‘date’ with me, but we spend a lot of times together on Sunday brunch. After two months of ‘going out’ he finally gives me a big surprised with the declaration of love to me.
It was my natural smiling face with my confident look that gave me a trouble. I have to be nice and at the same time I have to be meant to them. Telling them that I am not ready for any relationships because I am in the middle of leaving the city and move to another city. It was the hardest job to do, explaining to them even harder especially when you look at these sad eyes.
Why love come when you not even look at. It’s always the case.
But then, am ready to have a relationship and my charm in not working here in this city. The strange city that at my age, they said I am an old bag, and what happened with my charm?
Peoples here thought with my honest charm were intimidating and scared them away. They didn’t like someone too confident and it will dominate the others. And am just learn that living in this city meant you can't be straight-forward (cos they can't handle it) and you have to be nice and say 'yes' even 'it' meant NO!
Well, that for now.
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