Meaningless SEX anyone?

To be honest, I really don’t know. From my recent experience I would say No but then again, for a gay men I think maybe it depends on what kind of head space he’s in at the time as to how emotionally attached he’s going to get.

I met Mr. French at a party one night, took him home and, well, shagged him till the sun came up. And when I say 'met' I mean, I saw him, singled him out, flirted for a bit then got him into a taxi quick smart knowing exactly what I wanted.

Normally I’m not that kind of men. Hell I’ve been in a relationship for 11 years before, and am kind of dating someone now, so of course I’m not that type of men, but that night I went out fully knowing what I intended to do and why. I had been thinking about trying out a casual kind of ‘relationship’ for a few weeks deciding that I wanted some fun but not a full on commitment. I’d even had rules around how it would was going to work to keep emotions to a minimum.

The next morning Mr. French was a total gentleman. We went into work together, he carried my bags for me, we had a good conversation, we swapped numbers and that was that. A good start to what I had decided was going to be my first casual sex relationship...unbeknownst to Mr. French.

I waited a few days and then I texted him and asked him if he wanted company after 10pm that night for a few hours. Of course he did! What boy would say no to that kind of offer? That night I set some ground rules. If I was going to do this I knew I couldn’t develop an emotional connection what-so-ever with Mr. French I needed to be 100% in control so when it ended it had minimal impact.

I needed this because the rejection I’d felt from my relationship was still fresh and I guess I just wanted to feel ‘wanted’ on some kind of level. (I’m sure a psychologist would have a field day with that statement!)

My booty call rules included:

No sleep over’s

No calling before 8pm at night

No waking up together on Sunday mornings

No weekend breakfasts

No dinner dates

No snuggling

My rules rocked for about two weeks. And then of course...HE broke the god damn rules. And I let him. We started catching up at the pub and then once for dinner and before I knew it the guy was sleeping over. It all went downhill from there. I was so annoyed at myself. I started really liking Mr. French I did everything I could to keep it physical. I really tried to stick to those damn rules. Queue emotional complications.

I think most gay men’s are just built to look for emotional connections, meaningful conversation and some level of understanding from men. Whether we just want sex or not, sex means something to us, even if it is just a one night stand. It makes us feel something about ourselves: loved/approved of/sexy/beautiful/wanted/attractive.

And if we really like the guy it’s something we do to deepen the connection.

And tell more about it please......

Till then