The morning after the night before

How to survive a one night stand and waking up in a bedroom that isn't your own.

So you have had a few drinks, been chatting to a guy that you like and towards the end of the evening, have played a fair amount of tonsil tennis with the guy that you fancy all night. You then decide to throw caution to the wind and go home with him.

Both of you end up engage in casual one-night stand because both of you are physically attracted to each other. You’re more likely to carry out the sexual encounter knowing you have no interest in continuing the relationship with him, while the other guy tend to choose sex partners who may provide a future relationship. Whether intentional or not, a one-night stand can be invigorating or shameful and regretful. Whatever the situation, the potentially awkward morning after can be a tedious demon to deal with.

Waking up somewhere other than your own bed can be quite awkward. The walk home can be just as upsetting. But how do you go about conducting a one night romance, wrapping things up and making it home without a morsel of dignity and style?

Here, I give you some tips on how to live to tell the tale - without dying of shame and making it home just in case you ever find yourself in the situation - with some words of wisdom from people who have been there and done that.

The three scenarios

The completely anonymous guy: someone you have never met before and likely you will never see again.

The long time coming: the attractive guy who is among your circle of friends. It was something you knew would happen but put off due to potential negative consequences. Best kept secret when it does happen.

The regrettable: most one-night stands are, but this one is the worst! You wake up next to someone you don’t know or someone that is particularly unattractive without the cover of darkness. Destroy all evidence and reminders of the night.

Damage control
If you wake up in a stranger’s room, you should immediately locate all your personal belongings. The last thing you want to do is return to reclaim a lost sweater. If you can't find something that is unimportant after five minutes, such as a sock, let it go.

The name game
Not only is it bad enough waking up in this situation, but not remembering his name just adds to it. Some advice on working out that riddle from those with experience:

“Your best bet is to find their post or some form of bill which will had their name printed on.”

“I’ve never been exactly in this situation, but why not find their wallet and have a look through if you’re feeling brave enough so you can recap. If this fails, then just call them honey, or whatever.”

You decide or realized that you don’t like him one bit.

“I can imagine the best thing to do in this situation is to just leave and go home. There isn’t any point in hanging around or exchanging contact details to be honest,” says my friend Peter.

In this situation, it is best to pretend that you have to be somewhere and step out of there pretty fast. There are a million and one things that you can come up with to stop him from pursuing you. Mentioning that you have to meet your three brothers may just do the trick.

Mirror mirror on the wall
Quietly sneak into the bathroom to avoid waking up the person next to you. If your new friend is already awake, excuse yourself and go and sort yourself out. This is the first step to prepare you for your exit.

“Make sure that before you leave their apartment or house, you look vaguely normal

The sweet escape
You’ve already decided that fooling around with the man you woke up next to you was a one-time deal, so there’s no reason to stick around for pleasantries. Slip out while he’s still snoring or sneak out when he’s in the shower. “Odds are, he’ll be just as relieved as you are. Plus, nothing is more awkward than over-staying your welcome,” adds Peter

The walk of shame
The majority of people here are fortunate to have some mode of transport, and therefore the ‘walk of shame’, which the journey home is so aptly called, doesn’t necessarily apply here.

However, there are some who use the buses or the monorail, or may live just a hop skip and a hump, sorry, jump away from where they wake up, will need to take note of the following:
“If you are unlucky not to have your own car and are unable to get a lift, then make sure that you avoid public transportation. Always, always have money for a taxi. People won’t notice the walk of shame this way. Only the driver I guess,”

You’re more likely to be shuffling home looking out of place in your smoky shirt. If this applies to you, it is important to avoid eye contact with all those you encounter. Trying to brush off the fact that you are wearing your last night shirt with smiley like an ashtray at 9am the next morning by smiling at all those you pass by on the streets, is a terrible idea. You are currently the epitome of embarrassment and there is nothing worse than your neighbors seeing you come home at the early hours wearing the previous night shirt. There is just no explaining that one, it's as obvious as it gets!

We're not encouraging you to go out and have promiscuous sex. But hey, stuff happens, so if you do "do it", don't feel bad about it. Just make sure you're entering the situation in the right frame of mind. Overall, and on a more serious note, it is important to remember (and it should go without saying), those ready to embark on such an encounter need to remember to keep themselves protected. Even though many of us were raised in an era where this message is more prevalent than ever before, it is in everyone's best interest if you constantly remind yourself of the dangers associated with unprotected sex and how the consequences are very real.

Till then,