Will single over 40s be single forever?

Works too hard. Won't compromise. Commitment-phobic. Cancels plans. Forgets plans. Doesn't call back. Sigh.

While it seems we're often preoccupied in his column with naming and debating the myriad douchebag behavioural traits of men – lying, cheating, sexting other boy or, worse, not texting you – lately I've come across a possible reason behind all this anti-male malice: it's not him, it's his age.

‘He's too young!’ cried a singleton recently to me after meeting the man of his dreams, only to discover (post hook-up) that he was 10 years younger. When he told him he was only five years his senior, he responded with, 'Yeouch, you're really old!'

Little did he know …

Nevertheless, he proceeded to court him for the next few weeks. That's because (generally speaking here) younger men love the chase. Everything is fresh, new and exciting. Man are unknown to them. No one has broken their hearts just yet. Hence, they're romantic, thoughtful, endearing, excited, filled with energy and brimming with ideas on how to please him.

‘So what if it can't go anywhere? said the other friends of mine, fielding yet another text message from him begging for a date. ‘It's refreshing. Much better than all these old guys who are so set in their ways that there's hardly room for you in their lives, let alone a full-time boyfriend.’

It's a universally acknowledged truth that age does matter. And, while socially acceptable age gaps have widened in recent times (thanks in part to the likes of Demi Moore, Madonna and Samantha Jones), I've begun to notice a strange pattern emerging: when it comes to the dating game, older men are increasingly the problem.

For years boy have thought that if they met and impressed an older, wiser, established, secure bloke, he'd be mature enough to know what he wanted when he saw it, get down on one knee, pop the question and be done with all the dating hoo-ha.

No such luck.

‘But I thought because he's older and has his shit together, he would be perfect!’ complained one boy who recently found himself single after dating a man aged 47. (he's 30.)

Take a look at Simon Cowell, who at 51, has allegedly just kicked out his fiancée and sent her to live in his other property, nicknamed the 'girlfriend graveyard' – a place where all his exes wind up just before they're given the flick … for good.

Then there's perpetual bachelor George Clooney, who swaps his girlfriends more often than most men change their underwear, never stopping to think that, by 50, he might want to stick with just one. Oh no.

After dumping Italian actress Elisabetta Canalis, Clooney has now moved on to former wrestler Stacy Kiebler. (If I were her, I wouldn't be fobbing off other dates any time soon.)

In my quest to discover the reason behind the delayed, I've discovered that the older a man gets, the less likely he is to commit … ever.

And by the time he reaches 40? It's near to impossible. So at 50, I'm not quite sure what the boy who date these men are thinking. That they'll change them? Be the ones these men will finally commit to?

Seriously?

Maybe it’s that by 40-50 years old we have our act together, know what matters to us, and realise that sex is no longer the all important, all enveloping need it once was.

Maybe we find the idea of being 70 years old at a potential offsprings 21st birthday party cringe worthy.

Maybe by middle age we realise we stand to lose so much and have and so little to gain by hitching our wagon to a potentially hostile take over of our lifes work and assets should all turn pear shaped.

Maybe we are tired of being constantly reviled by the fabulous boys (or money boys) in Kuala Lumpur as doucebags, liars, in the closet, cheats and misogynists on one hand, then expected to take on your baggage with the other.

See, old-men know that we are born alone, and a batchelor in middle age realises that it’s not a bad place to be.

Selfish and indulgent? For sure.

But ah... the blessed peace, the freedom from boy-nazis, the joy of choosing to have companionship or not.

Till then....