Who say old and single is desperate and not happy - learn some from Sex and the City

Not all older single peoples, no matters they’re straight, gay or whatever label you put on it want to settled down with a partner nor do they want a ring on their finger, and they have a message for relatives, friends, acquaintances and life's random buttinskys who think they need one:

Shut up already!

They have other messages: we are not all sad. We are not all been dumped, unlucky in love or unlovable. We are not all straight or gay (and even if we were, have we not evolved as a culture, even just a little, to stop making that assumption? Don't answer that.)

Singledom and a massive case of "singlism" are red hot right now as Samantha Jones cracks menopause jokes at 54 as she romps in the desert with her three fab friends in Sex and the City 2. If you haven't watch the part two of Sex and the city – go watch it!

For women, say 45 and up, who are living single and always have, it is a chronically sizzling subject as they face down the seemingly unstoppable tangle of stereotypes that has plagued them for EVER: Old Maid. Desperate. Quirky. Cougar. Incapable of committing. Workaholic. Bitter. Damaged goods.
"There always has to be something wrong," said Rose Clayton, 48, who works in the tasting room of a winery, and always has been single. "It's always, ohhh, what's wrong? I always go, 'With me you mean? Or other people?"'

Imagine being happy and nobody believes you, she said. "I have plenty of friends. I go out and do things. I travel, go to dinner and parties, socialise."

Social psychologist Paulo is 56 and happily an always-single. He has been trying to turn off the stereotypes and end the stigma, first through a book, Singled Out, and now a blog called Living Single for Psychologytoday.com.

Older, single man and women often are painted as what Paulo called "quirkyalones" when really they're "singles at heart" and wouldn't have it any other way. Even more important, perhaps, he asks why we're still desperately trying to suck them into the "Matrimania" vortex?

"The single at heart are not looking for long-term coupling, whereas quirkyalones still romanticise the quest for The One, and that makes the quirkyalone less threatening, easier to understand," Paulo said.

Over-the-top hyping of marriage, partnership and coupling, was not necessary back when everybody got partner or married, when they broke-up less and when they had little opportunity for financial security.

Negative assumptions about living single and older do not pack the wallop of other "isms," like racism, Paulo said. "There's no consciousness raising. The stereotypes are so rarely challenged."

Robinson, 59, is madly in love with the single life he's always had.

"I remember really lighting into my grandmother when I was in my 20s for referring to a time when I was going to settle down," said the writer in New York City. "I told her never, and I think she went into shock. She was the sweetest person in the world, and I got really mad at her."

Not so much has changed in nearly four decades, said Robinson.

Living happily single without hunting for a mate, or living happily single while dating, especially outside one's age range, the stereotypes never end.

Take the cougar craze. Kim Cattrall, Samantha in the Sex and the City movies, recently questioned the term, for herself and her character in the movies.

"I think cougar has a negative connotation," she told Extra, a show biz television show. "I was asked recently by a significant magazine for women over 40 to pose with a cougar, and I refused to do it because I felt it was insulting. They took away the cover because I refused to do so."

Paulo said friends, family, colleagues and the world at large sometimes can more easily get their minds around an older single peoples interested in younger men, or any man, than a woman who makes it clear she is not and really likes her life without that goal in mind.

"I think there's really a belief that if you settle down you are actually a better person than a single person," he said.

Like Cattrall's Samantha, 45-year-old Sarah, has her own public relations firm. She loves how her life is "really focused on me," but falls somewhere in the middle on the issue of a long-term relationship. Ideally, she said, she would love to have "a great guy around," so long as he does not live with her.

As for me life has been so damn great in the past three weeks, my sex life was rocket-up to the top, like what I always told my mates:

“SEX : Take it when it’s offered, because this is one commodity where you can’t demand. But never pay more than market price and always tips generously..”

Who want to settled down when am single and never run-out of supply!

Wait for minutes, you must be kidding huh!!!

Let me tell you something, the boys, been knocking my door and wanting for more do I need to stop them? The answer is not, cos as I said, this is a one commodity that is ups and downs, you I don't know when it 'will' down, so why should I not enjoy it the moments that the supply is there…

Till then, have a lovely weekend and tell you for sure, this old single man, never been lonely…

Have some safe fun!