I am single by choice. Sure, it's my second choice, but it's not like I don't have some say in it. And on the few occasions I lament the absence of significant other in my life, everyone else in the room seems to think they can have a say in it as well. From close friends to complete nobodies, everyone has a theory as to why I haven't got a partner. Essentially they're telling me it's my own fault. And you know what? They're wrong. This is what these junior psychoanalysts have to say:
I WANT A PARTNER - I want a relationship, and that's no way to go into a relationship. No, I hate the idea of commitment and regular sex, as well that I hate the idea of finding a men and go through a date and end - up they telling me that they 're not "out" yet at the age of fourty five. So I told people I want a brand new five series BMW, and I am planning to work hard to get it, and they'll praise me. Tell the same people that I am planning on working hard to get a partner and the nicer ones will laugh at me. Do they really think I value a brand new BMW over love? Or are they hoping for a lift?
I AM LOOKING FOR IT - Apparently all I need to find the men of my dream is to stay home every friday night, with my eyes closed, and turn off my mobile. People love to say it'll happen when I am not looking for it, but if I am not looking for it how will they recognise it?
I AM NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE - I am living in South Yarra area, for God's sake!! What better place than that? The supposition that you have all your affairs in order - financially, emotionally, physically - before you can have someone in your life means you're going to be single forever. What they're really saying is they wouldn't date me at this point in my life. I probably don't have enough money yet, but what's wrong with growing and learning and making mistakes while I am with someone? May be they can't walk and chew gum, but most of us can do two things at once.
I DON'T REALLY WANT ONE - This is usually spat out by friends who are already in the relationships. Boyfriends are too much trouble and I am better off without someone says this to me, I am going to snap back: "Really? then dump yours."
I AM TOO SELECTIVE - This is usually from a friend trying to set me up with the 59 - year- old obese men who works in the cubicle next to him at the call centre. He's single, I am single, seem like the perfect solution to them. Or the other guy who want me to have relationship with spunky fourty year old banker and hasn't out and will never admit himself as a gay men. The next time someone tells me I am too selective, I'll remind them, they should be grateful their other half wasn't.
I ALWAYS GO TO THE WRONG PLACES - That is, I am going to a club where all the mens are predominantly and behaving like screaming queen. And I won't date them, but I am not stupid enough to believe I am going to meet my Mr. Right at Borders book store, while both of us reaching for the last remaining copy of Cosmopolitan. Life isn't a Meg Ryan flick, and the next time they tell me this "I'll ask them exactly where it is I should be going. Men hunting isn't an exact science. I am simply playing the numbers game.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT - No, they don't know what I want and they're trying to get themselves off the hook for not being any help in finding it for me. Nobody knows exactly who it is that's going to complement them. That's why we go on dates in the first place. Alternately, if I have the idea of what I want, I am accused of being too selective. Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't.
Well, fuck'em. I am trying my best and there's nothing wrong with wanting it. It doesn't make me a lesser human being to want someone to love and be loved by in return. I don't need the bullshit theories. I don't need the patronising banter from those who are bored with their own excuses.
I need a little luck, a little optimism and a little good timing. Because the real reason I am still single, the reason even I hate to admit, is I am simply haven't met him yet. I know it's there for me too, some place. He's out there somewhere, I know he is, he's born, I know that much. And if I start to believe what my friends are telling me, I never will.
Till then, time to pamper myself with SPA's and massage..... Anyway, it's sunday and I should make used of it......
I WANT A PARTNER - I want a relationship, and that's no way to go into a relationship. No, I hate the idea of commitment and regular sex, as well that I hate the idea of finding a men and go through a date and end - up they telling me that they 're not "out" yet at the age of fourty five. So I told people I want a brand new five series BMW, and I am planning to work hard to get it, and they'll praise me. Tell the same people that I am planning on working hard to get a partner and the nicer ones will laugh at me. Do they really think I value a brand new BMW over love? Or are they hoping for a lift?
I AM LOOKING FOR IT - Apparently all I need to find the men of my dream is to stay home every friday night, with my eyes closed, and turn off my mobile. People love to say it'll happen when I am not looking for it, but if I am not looking for it how will they recognise it?
I AM NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE - I am living in South Yarra area, for God's sake!! What better place than that? The supposition that you have all your affairs in order - financially, emotionally, physically - before you can have someone in your life means you're going to be single forever. What they're really saying is they wouldn't date me at this point in my life. I probably don't have enough money yet, but what's wrong with growing and learning and making mistakes while I am with someone? May be they can't walk and chew gum, but most of us can do two things at once.
I DON'T REALLY WANT ONE - This is usually spat out by friends who are already in the relationships. Boyfriends are too much trouble and I am better off without someone says this to me, I am going to snap back: "Really? then dump yours."
I AM TOO SELECTIVE - This is usually from a friend trying to set me up with the 59 - year- old obese men who works in the cubicle next to him at the call centre. He's single, I am single, seem like the perfect solution to them. Or the other guy who want me to have relationship with spunky fourty year old banker and hasn't out and will never admit himself as a gay men. The next time someone tells me I am too selective, I'll remind them, they should be grateful their other half wasn't.
I ALWAYS GO TO THE WRONG PLACES - That is, I am going to a club where all the mens are predominantly and behaving like screaming queen. And I won't date them, but I am not stupid enough to believe I am going to meet my Mr. Right at Borders book store, while both of us reaching for the last remaining copy of Cosmopolitan. Life isn't a Meg Ryan flick, and the next time they tell me this "I'll ask them exactly where it is I should be going. Men hunting isn't an exact science. I am simply playing the numbers game.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT - No, they don't know what I want and they're trying to get themselves off the hook for not being any help in finding it for me. Nobody knows exactly who it is that's going to complement them. That's why we go on dates in the first place. Alternately, if I have the idea of what I want, I am accused of being too selective. Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't.
Well, fuck'em. I am trying my best and there's nothing wrong with wanting it. It doesn't make me a lesser human being to want someone to love and be loved by in return. I don't need the bullshit theories. I don't need the patronising banter from those who are bored with their own excuses.
I need a little luck, a little optimism and a little good timing. Because the real reason I am still single, the reason even I hate to admit, is I am simply haven't met him yet. I know it's there for me too, some place. He's out there somewhere, I know he is, he's born, I know that much. And if I start to believe what my friends are telling me, I never will.
Till then, time to pamper myself with SPA's and massage..... Anyway, it's sunday and I should make used of it......
Enjoy your weekend.............
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