"There are times in everyone's lives where they are faced with tough choices. And it's at those times where your brain will tell you heaps of reasons why it's OK to do the wrong thing. Things like, 'Everyone was doing it, no one will ever know, its only a bit of fun.' It might only happen a few times in your life, but it's when those voices in your head or your mates in the room say it's OK to do something you know is the wrong thing, is when you will judge yourself for the rest of your life.
I'm proud of you son, I always have been, and always will be. But the best way I know of to be a man is to stand up for the things you believe in, respect others and to always be a gentleman. That's how to be proud of yourself."
"My father once told me that the highest compliment he was ever paid was when a man he admired - a veteran of World War II, a devoted father and a successful breadwinner for his family - called him 'a true gentleman'. The word may mean different things to different people, but to him it denoted a man of inner strength, character, confidence and humility. A man secure enough in himself to not need the approval of the crowd, wise enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and critically, courageous to choose that which is right. A man who understands that the only meaningful ethical standard is one to be maintained even when no one else is watching. I wonder whether it shouldn't be the greatest compliment any of us could hope for. And I would ask him whether, with such a short time on Earth but with the potential to create long memories, if this was the story he would want to write. Finally I would remind him that there is the potential for redemption, but only for those who have earned it, and thus truly deserve it."
Ok, that is the memory I've had about my late father, let get back to my story here..... It's about my birthday and how I felt about it...... and you tell me if you agreed with those who's saying that life's begun at 40!
Well that’s that! Another Birthday has come and gone and as we are left to reflect on the highs and lows, achievement and disappointment, of the previous twelve months, I say hello to my forty seven birthdays recently with open arms and opens hearts.
Fresh from my birthday wishes and resolutions replace last birthday unfulfilled ones (as they light the candles!) and, as am clear my heads from birthday party, hopefully a little insight is gained into what we are happy and content with in our chaotic lives and what needs a little improvement .
Although, a sober moment may be hard to come by between now and the lost of SPQR, been cheat from good friend and been robbed financially at least for me (in the past 10 months).... My forty seven birthdays is all about learning, or at least attempting to learn. I set out on a personal journey of self-discovery (how I’ve had lost friends, or how my friends lost me cos’ I no longer own my SPQR) and hands on experience with my community, or dark a shipload of alcohol and frequented that many bars that now too many people know my name, usually used in the context of, “George, you’ve had enough to drinks!” I can’t say my many old-age questions have all been answered, although I will probably keep on asking the same questions. But I must confess, while relaxing in the afternoon at La Bodega recently, I experienced and overwhelming realization (unrelated to alcohol) that maybe there aren’t any real answers to the question I pose.
Fresh from my birthday wishes and resolutions replace last birthday unfulfilled ones (as they light the candles!) and, as am clear my heads from birthday party, hopefully a little insight is gained into what we are happy and content with in our chaotic lives and what needs a little improvement .
Although, a sober moment may be hard to come by between now and the lost of SPQR, been cheat from good friend and been robbed financially at least for me (in the past 10 months).... My forty seven birthdays is all about learning, or at least attempting to learn. I set out on a personal journey of self-discovery (how I’ve had lost friends, or how my friends lost me cos’ I no longer own my SPQR) and hands on experience with my community, or dark a shipload of alcohol and frequented that many bars that now too many people know my name, usually used in the context of, “George, you’ve had enough to drinks!” I can’t say my many old-age questions have all been answered, although I will probably keep on asking the same questions. But I must confess, while relaxing in the afternoon at La Bodega recently, I experienced and overwhelming realization (unrelated to alcohol) that maybe there aren’t any real answers to the question I pose.
I am forty seven-year old gay man living in a material world, (that why, non- of my used to be my good friends remember or text me on my birthday, and surprisingly, those who’s not close to me is the peoples who’s cheers me up on my birthday), living uncertain times, in a year which gay matrimony rocked the World, and disco was officially pronounced dead. No wonder I am confused. I sought guidance from my elders, who were my age in uncertain times also, but I couldn’t seem to find anyone at La Bodega who was interested in giving me a history lesson. I like to think of myself as socially active (although others prefer the term ‘scene queen’) yet sometimes I can’t keep up anymore in a scene which has as many divisions as I have Calvin Klein shirts and underwear.
Scene, non-scene, camp, straight-acting, passive, aggressive, sane, not-so-sane, the list goes on and on…… but I suppose that is the very beauty of diversity and as a great man has advised me in the past, “just take it as it comes George”… and that’s just what I plan to do in my forty seven toward my next birthday.
As a friend of thirty six years prepares to come-out of the closets to his parents, I am preparing to start filling mine with a new step in life, and started my season of life from the bottom ground (wish me luck with the new start as I always wish my friend luck upon his coming out from the closet). Good times with new friends, more memories with old ones, thanks to God, at late forties and I still look fabulous! (don’t quote me on that!) As the sun shines down on KL’s skies. I am going to welcome this new beginning with a nostalgic optimism, as we all should, and promised myself a year of success, health and happiness – for myself, my loved ones (if I ever had one), my friends and my community…
Till then, another birthday story will follow in the next page, maybe later today......
Have a lovely day
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