Let talk about noisy sex....

Noisy sex lets everyone in on the act , What do the sounds you make during sex say about you?

Are you a silent shagger?

A boisterous bonk?

Somewhere in between?

Perhaps you aren’t that aurally aware – your sex noise is no-one’s business but yours and your partner’s after all...

But let’s face it – what with the economy butchering that once cherished quarter-acre block dream quicker than you can say rising-costs-of-living (or resource-super-profits-tax, whichever comes more naturally), your business is rapidly becoming everyone else’s business.

And that includes your sexy business.

So I ask again – what do the sounds you make during sex say about you?

A friend at a recent dinner made mention of the fact his housemate had engaged the company of a young boy whose mid-week, late-night warbling was proving to be cause for concern.

Not that he and the rest of the household minded their honcho having fun – to the contrary, they were all sexually confident, open-minded young lads more than up for action of their own and likely to salute in spirit their comrade when (and if) he should emerge from his love-den.

No – the problem wasn’t the sex. It was that it was mid-week. And late night. And, well, just bloody annoying.

''And we weren’t clear whether he was simply just that loud or whether he was trying to be heard,'' my friend mused, explaining that he was younger than his housemate was.

''I’m not sure if he wasn’t just trying to prove something.

''Here’s where I interjected – ''Even if he was - let’s say he’s an exhibitionist – is there anything really wrong with that?'' I asked, giving doubt the benefit.

He might just be having a ball and simply wants to let you all in on the party.

Or his yelping could be some sort of primitive I'm-mating-and-fertile call to the other males in the house?

Hell, he may even be trying to instigate group sex – isn’t that what kids these days are doing now?

My friend shook his head. ''Regardless of why he was doing it, the fact remains it was mid-week and annoying.''

Which brings us to today’s question(s).

1.When it comes to sex, what are you trying to communicate when/if you make noise? Have you ever been put off by a noisy/noiseless shag? Why?

2.When it comes to sex in share houses, apartment buildings, narrow blocks, etc – what’s the go with volume? Weekends, at night fine? Weekends, during the day, risky? Weeknights, late night, not at all?

My advice: It's all about manners really... if its after 10 on a weeknight, keep it quiet... any other time is fair game!

Noiseless shags are annoying... worse though are the "deaf" ones... no matter how many noises you make, or "comments" on upcoming events they still seem surprised when it happens!

As I'm single again now, so might be time for me to get some action again.... and am live alone, so I won't have a problem at anytime, cos, I like it laugh.... and at midday, early morning, late evening and early nite..... So here we goes everyone...

Till then, for some of you, who's sharing a house, please be considerate to others....