For forty seven years old, and recently single again, thanks for the swimming routine that make me in the very good shape, and fit etc.
I have started dating a boy in his late twenties and am getting heaps of sex’s, naked photos of his from email, etc.
It’s very different to the ‘dating game’ I left behind when I met my ex-partner back in the early ‘90s.
But besides the fact that the ‘tools’ we use to date now (internet, mobiles, facebook, etc) have changed, I want to know; have the men changed too?
I thought all of you might have some thoughts about this – am I too ‘out-of-date’ to date?
Well guys, you heard I said?
Am I too out-of-date to date (date twenty-somethings in particular, I assume)?
It’s a pertinent question in view of the number of thirty-something, 'round-two' daters looking for love these days.
“We’re stuck in the middle,” says one such second-time-single friend of mine.
“You’re mostly dating fellow newly-single or newly out-from closet or singles in their late forty who never quite settled down.
“I’m not sure how the rules work anymore – how to behave, where to meet people – it’s very confusing.”
Confusing because back in the day dating was like Swingers and Melrose Place and Seinfeld all rolled into one, drama and awkward miscommunication … wait, that inter-personal montage is still somewhat applicable.
It’s the delivery that’s different – I mean, back then sexually charged telecommunication occurred via answering machine messages and beepers, right?
Then le modern communiqué required only that you wait three days before calling on the cordless (if you were cool).
There was no texting, sexting, picture messaging, instant messaging, mobile emailing, twittering, facebooking, video calling or skyping – just making sure you knew what to say when you got the machine.
Nine years ago, you couldn’t Facebook stalk your ex or someone you were interested in or somebody who was friends with somebody you thought was hot. You couldn’t even Google them or their known associates – only Yahoo or Ask Jeeves (and he was no good to anyone).
Even when Windows '95 ricocheted around the PC universe (Apple was #fail then, remember?) chat-rooms and email were restricted by flaccid internet speeds and data quotas even more embarrassing than they are today.
Our lives are also busier, more fractured, multi-tasked – we’re also bolder, exposed to more messages of a hyper-sexual nature. You can access porn, hard-core porn, freely and easily and as privately as you choose.
But has the changed jungle fundamentally changed the nature of its beasts? Is a decade’s difference a decade too different? Are thirty-somethings incompatible with the children of the technological revolution?
What do you think?
Are you a newly-singles clueless about how dating works these days? Someone who feels too out of touch to finger the pulse?
Can the pre-iWorld generation only romantically connect with their peers and above? Or are we all, still, just people, after all?
As my friend always said: I hear you DDD, I hear you. It's a freaky world out there now for us second (or third) timers and it can be a weeeee bit scary. I for one am still trying to find my feet some six years down the track of singledom. Sure I have had some significant periods with someone special, but even they had the technology getting in the mix, leaving some bewilderment on my part. And I have worked in I.T. for a large part of my career!
I have a slight advantage over my brothers in that my name is exactly the same as someone older and much more famous than I. A google search turns up way too many hits about him and nothing (to date!) about me. However even this barrier was shattered when a young boy tried my name on Facebook and uncovered my page. We suddenly went from excited and quite interested to "Oh, sorry but you are just too old for me".
Then there's that dating site owned by manjam. I too have tried it several times and have finally given up on the grounds of how soul-destroying it has been. To be rejected on the grounds of a photo or a profile not quite written to his liking is the electronic equivilent of a knee to the balls.
Ouch!
And I have been told I can make money out of my writing!
Yep, the technology has made it a very different world for we single-agains. If I can find someone who has it all together in that department...in the words of a certain eighties duo: I've got the brains, you've got the brawn - let's make lots of money!
Till then, have a lovely nite............
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